Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

Yo momma's so stupid she comes up in a lot of jokes titled "yo momma jokes"

Q. who's george porchy?

there's a few black guys in a car, who's driving? their dad because they're kids

What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

nice tits.

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Sally had no arms. Knock knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

sure!

Q: Who`s the badly treated kid at school who always faces punishment, but is inadvertently provided with recompense every single day (s)he attends class A: The poeple who fall into the category that does not encompass the people who are treated with dignity at school and never experience punishment there, but always receive some kind of reward for trying to succeed anyways.

roses are red violets are blue, every 1 looks at you and call u a fool

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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