Why did the frog commute suicide ? Because His mother was a type writer

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem. _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a magic MAAAAAAAAAAAN? A magic man

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in someone's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +31

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops