- Anti Joke

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

can the real slim shady please stand up? no. there is a slim shady in all of us, so we will all stand up.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

Want to know a joke? There is no joke.

Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The chicken saw greater opportunities to find food on the other side

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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