- Anti Joke

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

knock knock who's ther? chris chris who? JUST OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND CHECK IT OUT

what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

How did Goku save his home planet? He didn't.

Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

If I had xray vision I'd go to a black jack table and when the dealer dealt everyone there cards I would look at the hot girls boobs

Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

what's worse that reading something that just wasted seconds of your life? reading this and wasting more seconds.

Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

Stop Spam Read Books

how do u make a baby cry? you shouldnt. Stop thinking of ways to make a kid cry... asshole.

why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.