What did the homeless man get for Christmas?... A warm meal, a shower, and a place to sleep courtesy of the local homeless unit.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Asshole huh? Dont give me any ideas. Again you are not high on weed are you? Then that's really bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why did'n the baby wake up from his nap? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Jew, a Muslim and a Christian walk into a bar. The Muslim is dissatisfied with the choice of the meeting place since the Islam forbids drinking alcoholic beverages.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the chicken crossed the road? I got feathers stuck in my cars grill

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the guy coverd in garbage. I don't know but their are a lot of homeless people that can't afford the good stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks GET OVER IT

thumb_up thumb_down -2

c-? men, C-men

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you stop a rhino from charging? Kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops