What's worse than an anti-joke about an anti-joke? The Holocaust

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If life gives you lemons.... Life is an abstract noun not a physical object so it can not give you lemons.

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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YOU

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It just didn't.

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m

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Yarn

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Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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Who swept the woman off her feet? A kidnapper

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great distance she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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Why did everyone want to hang out with the mushroom? They didn't. In fact the mushroom's social anxiety had developed to the stage that he had frequent contemplations of self-harm and is in serious need of extensive therapy.

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What did the cow do when it got run over by a tractor? It died.

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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I would have made you laugh, but that is not the point is it? Moral: What do you expect from the 4th most pointless invention?

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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