A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

What's flaming and has wheels? A firepit. I lied about the wheels.

whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

It's long!

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

So Nero, what the fuck are you doing? XD

Stop with the 9/11 jokes guys. They're just plane stupid.

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

Your momma's so fat in her history class they wrote down what they were doing

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie...

What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

What did john say to dave when his grandfather died ?

Whats worse than a son killing his own father? His biological father finds him, 10 years later.

a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

4-4-2

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

Whats a frogs favorite year? 2009!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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