Mum: Never put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Child: Oh, I was going to play video games tomorrow, so...

Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

Drunk guy... Hey i just maybe And this is number But here's my crazy So call me met you

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

A negro named Kanye walks into a Tavern... He's stoned to death.

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

Why a warm-harted man turned into cold-blooded? He's dead

Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

How do you kill a blonde ? Shoot her in the head

wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

i like serious. serious means business. business means cash. cash means money. money makes me happy and when i'm happy you dont die

An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

A quadrapeldgic walks no where

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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