Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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Hey "Oren" its Red, sorry but I got to go now. How you been doing? Kinda missed you over here. So you actually care about how you sound now?

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Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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How do u get Hitler out of a car? You open the door.

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the Shell Station.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Koalas mum is a slut

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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