How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a white elephant? No there is no such thing as a white elephant gun. You take it's trunk, then strangle it until it turns blue. Then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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I grunt when I poop.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Tough crowd tonight...

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Want to hear a funny joke Rojo Bunchie

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

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Why did the person have a scrape on their elbow? Because they fell down.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What do you get when you cross a dead monkey, a chair fitted with wheels for use as a means of transport by a person, Isaac Newton & the creator of the website? Stephen Hawking.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings? A car crash Whats worse than a car crash? 3 bee stings

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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Its Erron, listen, we got to talk, I do not mind your pictures, but I am not going to call you because of that weird spot on your face, its just 101 basics here, I suggest you shut down the access to this site to the rest of your employees, this might get very personal.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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what does chicken and triceratops have in common both their jokes are anti-climatic, from lack of punchline

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Why was the African american pulled over in New Jersey? He was 17 and didn't have his red stickers.

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Your mother is so fat, she tried to suicide because she was unhappy with her weight. She tried a diet and it didn't work; she suffers from depression and went to see a doctor about her weight. Life is getting worse for your mother and she is starting to develop diabetes. Your relatives and cousins are going to the hospital to visit her sometime this week; the doctor says she only has about a week left before she passes away.

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Hellen keller

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops