A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What do you call a saxaphone playing unicorn, that's flying away to a distant planet on a penguin? a dream

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What did the fish say to the octopus? nothing... fish cant talk.

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knock,knock you suck

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a dog, Meow.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

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Hail Heetluh

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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