roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what happens when you piss on a dead monkey nothing you just lose the urge to pee O.o

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because the branch broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did the fireman get the cat out the tree? He sprayed it with a hose, killing it in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What is the difference between a horny college girls and a horny high school girl? A: Usually, an age will seperate people in different grades. Also, what grade their in.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the difference between friends and cement? if you soak friends in liquid and then repeatadly shock them they will die

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse then the Boston bombing? The Texas bombing, considering Texas is a much bigger region then Boston.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did then plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops