Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Where would you be unlikely to find a polar bear? In a courtroom.

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A blind man jumped out of the way as a car ran through the red light at a one way street.

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Where was Sally when the bomb went off? Everywhere...

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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whats long, orange, and comes out of brown stuff? -a carrot.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Your mom went to college

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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what did the 3 year old get for her birthday? nothing she died of terminal cancer at the age of 2

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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