3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

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Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink. The bartender then looks down and realizes that the pirate has a steering wheel on his penis. "Sir, are you aware that you have a steering wheel on your penis?" the bartender asks. "Arrrrrrr! It's driving me crazy! I just woke up one day and it was there!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon, it looks like it could be very harmful to your health and slightly uncomfortable. Not to mention your penis is out in the open." "You are right, what was I thinking?" The pirate agreed. He proceeded to get his friend to drive him to a hospital, for drinking and driving is not safe, and steering wheels on penises are not healthy.

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Guess what? AIDS!

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because Acl tear stepped on a spit.

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Whats the first thing you do when your grandmother gets hit by a toaster? Buy a new toaster.

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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A: What did the banana say to the other banana? B: I don't know, what? A: I don't know either, I was hoping you did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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