If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you wake up a black man? scream!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's wrong with a black man in a bar? Nothing, Except the fact that he is an alcoholic, and will probably beat his wife after drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? The Door! He then broke down into tears as the nightmares from his schizophrenia had lead to a severely crippled mental state.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Thats a matter of opinion

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops