OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the bird fly? cause it was a penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -8

*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do You Call A Fake Noodle? ----An Impastaaa!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal, and this wasn't just any road. It was the new highway built, with frequent traffic jams and a speed limit of 90 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does everyone hate on justin beiber cause its easy

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than one beast thing? Two beast things. Whats worse than two beast things? The holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust? Three beast things.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with alot of money? A rich guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did the black man say to the white girl? He respectfully asked her out on a date and theyve been happily dateing ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats funnier than 24, 69

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rampage, on the streets of the poor. Secrets finally leaving, escaping, rummaging out from the land and sea of unforgiven people. A loud shatter erupts from the roaring streets filled with silence, the people are coming. Engulfing the city. Red, blue, orange and yellow. Explosives and gun fire and blood flowing down into the drains, mixing innocent blood with the impure water. Violence, detonating everywhere. I see fire everywhere. Once a family home now a lost memory which cannot be found. Everything is burning, life and love. The streets not painted with red. It's soothing the sidewalk. Hush now. A shadowy night. It's whispers reaches all corners of the earth... 'The war is over' Blue skies light up the back lanes, darkness retreating back under its box of everlasting mystery They fought a war We are fighting one too (first letter of each line + final 2 lines are the last two lines of the original poem etc)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats great about F***ing twenty one year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops