What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? It's Jeff. Hi there Jeff, come in, the doors open.

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I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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How do you get a girl out of a tree? You throw a refrigirator at her.

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What do you call a mulsim that tattles on you for vandilising muslim propaganda Target Practice

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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Two women are sitting on a park bench, minding their own business, saying nothing.

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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What is the meaning of life? 42

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tommy is retared

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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