A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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Why can't Demetrius swim? Because he has a genetic disorder where he is paralyzed from the waste down, so he is therefore incapable of propelling himself through the water

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Your mother is average.

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How do you prank a blind man? Uou leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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What is the #1 cause of pedophiles? Sexy children

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Q: "What did the blueberry say to the cheesecake?" A: "I'm not your friend anymore!"

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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What did the mexican say to the black guy before he went to work. Hey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

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300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

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politically correct!

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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