When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

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What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

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Why did Cody sit in the corner? Because his daddy didn't love him. #DaddyDoesn'tLoveYouAnymoreChair

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Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have a few drinks, then go to a club, where they amuse each other and those around them by completely slurring their words in their already very strong regional accents. Then they get a taxi back to the house of the Englishman as he lives nearest, and stay the night. The next morning, the Scotsman and the Irishmen walk home as they are still hungover and do not wish to risk driving.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

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smug face >:}

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Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

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What's the difference between an old man and a child? The old man is older than the child

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What did andy say when he went down on burger nips? Welcome to the jungle

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LIKE THIS!

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when riding on a roller coaster.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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Whats pink and looked like an angry bulldog? Your moms vagina last night

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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Rich people gave money to charity Charity gave money to the homeless The homeless spent the money on drugs

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A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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hi.... bonjour... hola... DOOO YOUUUU UNDERSTANDDD MEEE !!!!!!!!!!!

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Q. What's the difference between dead babies and celebrities? A. Nobody likes celebrities.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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