In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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Two People runs into a bar. They were thirsty.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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What do you call a dead baby who died by getting ran over by a car? Jimmy

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So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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Why didn't the black man get the scholarship? Because he didn't apply for it.

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I didn't know that guy did crossfit

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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