If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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hey! did u just fall??? ..no..gravity wanted a hug.!

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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A jewish man walks into a bar and then gets hit in the testicles. he now has testicular cancer.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Why did the girl get run over by a bus? The bus driver was blind.

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

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Why did the guy playing Monopoly sell Boardwalk for $100 to the woman wearing an exotic outfit which shows off her boobs but wouldn't sell Boardwalk for $1000 to the other person that was playing the game? The other person had Park Place as well which would have given them a monopoly on the blue property if he had sold it to that person. And $100 is all the girl had or he would have asked for more but he needed the $100 in order to pay this other player and keep himself from going bankrupt after landing on one of his Hotels.

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What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

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What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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I was chatting to a woman in a bar, when the subject of kids came up. I said, "My son has had to wear nappies for his entire life." "That's awful," she said, "what's wrong with him?" I replied, "Nothing. He's two and a half."

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What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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A doctor rides in his Mercedes Benz through a rough, poor part of town. He sees a homeless person who is begging for money. The doctor stops and gets out of his car and asks "Ill give you some money if you need it for food". The homeless person then shoots and kills the doctor, takes his wallet, and buys crack.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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