Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you wake up lady gaga? poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a person rolling down a hill, in a burning car, with a pack of wolves running after him? DEAD!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock, Knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one stool say to the other stool? Stools don't speak!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

once you go black your credit goes wack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

i like my coffee like i like my women... Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blind Man walks into a Bar. A young man quickly runs over to him and helps him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops