QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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this kid named terry stockton lives in craig beach ohio is gay

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your neighbor.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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What is a 6.9? A period getting in the way of a good time!

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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#IHateHashtags

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baskets

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I walked into my sister's room and slipped on a bra..........it was a boobie trap

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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