Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

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Why did the man go bra shopping? Cause he is a single father and his teenage daughter needs a new one.

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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whats the difference between Whitney Huston and rubber duck? The rubber duck dosent smoke crack. hmm to soon?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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which one does not belong light bulb i have read an agree to the terms of service view terms of service submit

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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What s the difference between a pigeon ?

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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My did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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In this case, its black operations, but simply in the term that its a well secret something, its not a lets say, organization that breaks the law, kidnaps listens to phones uses wires, which the FBI does. And when I mean I am a employee, I might have spoken a bit over my head here (sorry, lightheaded), you could well, simply put, I am something between a delivery boy and a mercenary, not the kind that shoots and kills (my shape sucks anyways), but rather the kind that "facilitates" communications between organizations... Thats all I can say without breaking laws that technically do not exist.

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are trapped on a desert island. As they investigate the island to find food and shelter they find a magic lamp. Together they rub the lamp and sure enough a genie appears and tells them he will grant each of them a single wish. The brunette goes first and wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house, where her husband and children are waiting for her. She is happy that her ordeal is behind her and to see her loved ones. The redhead goes next and also wishes to be back home. The genie claps his hands and she appears in her house. She is not married and has no kids, but she has 2 cats. She is happy to be through her ordeal and to see her beloved pets. The blonde went last and also wished to be sent home. The genie clapped his hands and she appeared back in her house. She wasn't married, and had no kids or pets, but she was still happy that her ordeal was over.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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