Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

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Q. What did the man say when he beat his video game? A. "I beat my video game." Q. What did the man say after his favorite sports team missed the playoffs? A. "My favorite sports team missed the playoffs." Q. What did the man say when a murderer was in his house? A. Nothing. He was dead.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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Why are butt pirates butt pirates? Because they just ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR FRUITS

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Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

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Q: What does a Jedi say when another Jedi farts? A: Who sabered the cheese?

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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If there are 2 narwhals and two apples, why is each of the narwhals happy? Because each is a narwhal.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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It got hit by a rocket.

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

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How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

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What did the the girl say to the deaf boy after he asked her out? He doesn't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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