What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

69

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Female Orgasms

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and lasagna? I don't know,I'm asking you the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the man eaten by a tiger? Because tigers are carnivores, but why are they carnivores? Because they eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do u take sugar?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

You know what's a joke? Something Funny

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has four legs, yet it can't walk? A dead horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops