mommy, mommy, the ice cream man is coming can i have a dollar? sure sweetie. YAY! Goes up to ice cream truck, ice cream man asks what would you like little boy, would you like chocolate, vanilla, str.... Ice cream man steals small boy.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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I woke up today

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whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The mailman! The mailman who? *opens door* Just kidding, I'm actually an axe-murderer!

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What is funnier than one dead baby? Two dead Babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops