"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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whats purple and has legs? Nothing, i lied about both

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

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What's worse than a pimple? Finding out it's a botfly.

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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Why couldn't the little girl color in her coloring book? Her arms were amputated.

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Your mom is so fat when she sat on wallmart she lowered the prices

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Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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