- Anti Joke

Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

Who is best known for causing the Mt. St. Helens Eruption, The World Series Earthquake, and The Asian Tsunami in 2004? According to insurance companies, God.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

What's faster than a black man with a TV? olympic sprinters, cyclists, street legal cars, speed boats, helicopters, commercial airliners, bullets, fighters jets, missiles, SR-71, space shuttles, rocket ships, anything in orbit, excited electrons, and quite a lot more, actually.

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

My kids are mistakes.

Derp

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

HURT

An automobile mechanic busted an engine fuse. A prostitute had oral sex with a Marine. An Inuit hunter detonated a sea mammal with TNT. What do they all have in common? They all blew a seal.

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

"Why the long face?" The bartender asked. "I was born with a severe cleft palette and a jaw deformity. The surgery lets me eat and drink but my parents couldn't afford the cosmetic part of the surgery, the scarring got worse as I grew older. Can I have a beer please?" I replied.

YOLO

i like it in the mouth

What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??