A horse walks into a bar. The owner immediately seeks out the owner of the misplaced obstruction and asks them to remove it promptly less his animal suffers any more untoward damage

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

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Womens rights

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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I am not under the alkafluence of inkahlol. The drunker I am, the longer I get.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

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What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

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You wanna hear an inside joke? That was one of them.

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I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

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what did one lady say to another lady? we are both ladies

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What did the prisoner receive on his 44th birthday? Well obviously all mail in prisons is checked, but nothing dangerous was found. He received a book on different types of steam engines (he is a railway fan), some chocolate (galaxy caramel, which is his favourite), a crossword challenge book (he gets bored in his cell) and the anti joke book.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Knock Know Who's there Interrupting ghost Interu--BOO!!! Ha HA!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

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Hey, I just met you and i am crazy, but? here's my room key let's make a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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