How did the black guy cross the street? He jumped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Lol, listen, the suggestion lies in the "not not", you are using not twice in your mind, which under trance makes it so your subconcious registers that you are using a double negative while you consciously do not. Look back at the messages and register consciously that you and I have been using "not not" twice during the past messages, when the net shuts down here, you reinforce the "I will totally notnot, tell him" so the suggestion just gets stronger.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

thumb_up thumb_down

who wins a race a white guy or a black guy? depends who's faster

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I once looked at a hedge that had the same colour leaves as all of the other hedges in that particular area.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why is the sky blue? Because when you look up at the sky, especially during the daytime, the sky is giving a bluish color.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What's 2+2? It's certainly not 1.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

You're mama's so ugly, she will most-likely never meet a compatible mate and die alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -156

Emo Girl: Whats Your Favorite song? Regulor Girl: Something Carrie Underwood sing!(: Emo Girl: Are you retarted? Regulor Girl: Well im not the one who loves Emos .-. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honstley, I didnt right this my cousin told me to wriget this... i think its stupied... And Yes, Ima Emo but im not trying to judge people if there emo or not! :D Luv ya! -Angel- <3

thumb_up thumb_down -158

Yo mama's so fat that I make Yo Mama jokes about her!!

thumb_up thumb_down +161

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

LIKE THIS!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red, Violets are blue, get in my bed so i can fu** you!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I told a woman to make me at turkey sandwich. Of course she complied seeing as I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops