(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A wooly mammoth and a dodo bird walk into a bar. Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you get your girlfriend to become more enthusiastic about swallowing? Stick your dick in Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock who's there I killed your family

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

stephen hawking walks into a bar, and those who recognize him are shocked that he's no longer in his wheelchair, and approach him to let him know this, but it turns out they were wrong, it was just a man with similar facial features to stephen hawking.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats the difference between a prostitute and crack dealer? One sells addicting drugs, while the other exploits her vagina for money. Either way, they're both illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If Apple made a house, would it have Windows?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's white, is Mel Gibson, and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree? A: Mel Gibson.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Waffles ate my grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops