What did the prisoner say to the other prisoner? I am going to anally rape you.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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I have down syndrome. -RDV

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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an irishman gets on facebook...he has 7 friend request

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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womens rights

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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YO MAMMA SO SKINNY SHE HULA-HOOP THIER A CHEERIO

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? cancer

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homosexual rights to marriage

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How do you get girls to watch a crappy movie? Tell them Taylor Lautner is in it.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

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How do you spot a paedophile in a playground? You don't, there are usually a lot of adults around.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

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What is the longest sentence that a man knows? If it is used it in context, isn't round and the speaker attempts to quote the whole number - or at least all of it known to date, then any sentence involving the value of pi.

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Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

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REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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How many Legos can you stick up your nose? I'm sure its very painful and considered stupid so don't try it.

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops