if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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whats the difference between blue and green? there different colours.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because a fridge hit him.

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Why was the black man smoking marijuana with his friends? He was at a glaucoma support group meeting.

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The Game.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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A ghost walks into a bar. Nobody sees it because it is a supernatural entity.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops