why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Last guy is a Joke thief Love, T.R.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

squash squash who squash my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the opposite of a joke? An Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats fat and ugly ? aidan slattery

thumb_up thumb_down -15

balls

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's black and white and red all over? A nun that was stabbed to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey, you must be a parking ticket. Because you are on the windshield of my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green, three feet tall, and can live forever? Definitely not Julie Andrews.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops