Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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A man with Alztheimers walks into a bar. He forgets the purpose of being there.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the puppy? Aww what a cute dog.

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What did the elderly lady say to the man? You still have not repaid my services

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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What did the redneck say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators.

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How do you sneak Jews across the border? In an ashtray.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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