What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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What did the sheep say to the Commonwealth Committee on September 11 2001? Baabaaabaaaahhh

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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What did the three blind mice say to the priest? I'm blind :(

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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what did helen keller say to the nazi? -nothing, helen keller was blind and deaf so she could never aquired the ability to speak

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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