on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

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what's red and horny a red unicorn

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You want to know how I got these scars? A horrible knife throwing accident.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Why didnt timmy go to the party Mom said no

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how do you scare a blonde person? dress up in orange and scream "mustard"

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cause he was a chicken.

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Yo mama so fat when she looked at the scale it said to be continued

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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White boy in jail. "That ish crazy!!"

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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