How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Why are black people good at basketball? While there are many preternaturally gifted black men and women in professional basketball, the notion that one race holds sway over the others in terms of sheer skill and talent is a ridiculous stereotype; propagated, no doubt, by both ignorant and jealous persons of other colors.

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what starts with 's' and ends in 'ex' and muslims get a stiffy from it semtex.

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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Why was little Jessica missing?? She was stuck in the freezer.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

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What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

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Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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