How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"

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frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

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The only difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is the taste.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Up until today I thought eminem was the lead singer for maroon 5

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? she had no arms... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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How did Clumsy Clearance eat shit? He was in the Human Centipede.

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Robin get in the Batmobile.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops