Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

Robin get in the Batmobile.

Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

How many babies can you breast feed? 2

What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

What do you call a dear with no eyes. A mutilated dear.

Penis.

Why did the woman fall off her bike?? Because someone threw a fridge at her!!!!!!

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

Why did the Monkey Fall out of the tree? ..It was dead..

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q.whats black and white and red all over A. half a zebra

What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

Three Arabian men are on a plane, they stand up, and shout BOMB, BOMB, BOMB! All three have Tourettes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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