HOLY SHIT BITCH!!!

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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What would happen if nyan cats crashed with eachother? It would be a great impact, and we'd all be sad.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why did the grandmom make rollerblades into cookies? because she had dementia

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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What is black and goes blub-blub? A black blub-blub. Good job. What is red and goes blub-blub? There is no such thing as a red blub-blub, you idiot.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and asks for directions to the nearest Applebee's.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man walks into a bar, he asks if the bartender knows where Starbucks is. The bartender finds this exceptable and shows him the way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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