What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

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Why is wood brown Because wood is brown

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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feminists.

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A obese woman, a anorexic woman and a average weight woman sit down to eat. They all have a good time.

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speech and debate.

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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long in the tooth!

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I bought my daughter the Josef Fritzl advent calendar. The proceeds go towards abuse survivor charities.

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what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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I hope the Angels win the pennant No pun intended

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Bags of delicious poop.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Knock, Knock whos there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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