What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Starve

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

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You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

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What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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how do you make old people hate eachother? put them in a night time psychology class

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza has cheese on it.

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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Why did the man fall of his bike? He wasn't on his bike, i drowned him yesterday.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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