Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

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so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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What do you call a city that never sleeps? Cities cannot sleep; they merely represent a societal body of people living in a confined community. A city may have a prosperous night-life, however, cannot functionally "fall asleep" in the convential sense of the term.

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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boys

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Roses are red violents are blue I have 5 figures and the middle one is for you

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops