Knock knock. Whos there? Death. You will die in the next 12 hours from terminal cancer.

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why was little johnny crying? he had frogs stapled to his face.

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Do you play piano? No

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Why did the chicken cross the road?... To get to the other side.

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Hello

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had a gun to its head

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Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

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Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Pi pi pi pi Pi pi pi pi Pingu Pingu!

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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what do Jewish people and pizzas have in common? they enjoy parties

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What's do a woman's vagina and a camel's toe have in common? Other than being parts of two mammals, they have nothing in common.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops