Barbara Streisand

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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A guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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Why don't you throw a rock at a Mexican on a bike? Because depending on the size of the rock, you could seriously injure him.

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Black people

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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what is the world worst joke? this one

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Why didn't the vampire go to the Garlic festival? Because it sucks.

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What's big, red, has green and puple spots and responds to "here boy"? Nothing, not to my knowledge anyway!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did Jimmy fall out of the tree. Cause' I shot him.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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