What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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USA, one of the richest and most proud nations on this plan- VIETNAM 9/11 BYE FOR NOW!!!

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

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Why did the kid have no arms? A clown came and chopped them off.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

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How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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