How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on its sex. Females weigh 150-250kg, and males weigh upwards of 350kg.

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

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Why did the downy jump off a cliff? I told him to.

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

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SpiderMan, under that mask and your superhero clothes who are You really? Under these clothes, I...Am.... naked

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? (Other): "Because the P is silent." Because they're extinct.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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why did the chicken cross the road? because his mother was dieing of terminal cancer in the hospital across the street where the bar was. he was drinking because he is an alcoholic.

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What is similar between a dog and a cat? They are both dogs except for the cat.

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The Game.

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Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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What did the elephant say to the poacher? Answer: Dear God in heaven, please don't kill me for my ivory.

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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Why couldn't the rich dumbass get into colledge? He couldn't open the door

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops