5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

10 mexicans were driving in a car and went off a cliff. what happend? No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

3 Chinese brothers (chu, bu, and fu) come to America and want to change there names. Chu becomes Chuck, Bu becomes Buck, and Fu becomes Tom because obscenities do not make acceptable names.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the black man participate in the running category of the Olympics? Because he had no legs, he was referred to the Special Olympics, instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the man die a slow and painful death? Because he kept submitting stupid, recycled anti-jokes over and over; so, I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats worst then finding a repeated joke on anti joke? The holocaus.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man dig his nose? because everyone digs their nose

thumb_up thumb_down +24

(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A mermaid walks into a bar, but she has no legs, so she flops over and proceeds to drag herself into the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Guess what? AIDS!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

THIS ONE IS MIIINE THIS ONE IS MIIINE I AM TOTALLY TIFA I AM TOTALLY TIFA! This one apparently.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the old man catch at a baseball game? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the boy get hit by a wrecking ball? Because he picked up an upside down penny.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops