Wanna hear a dirty joke? I had gay butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What's worse than dying? Living in Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Why did the mammoth cross the road? For financial reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +187

Why did the chicken cross the road? The pen was left open, and it felt slightly curious.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a store and asks for a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A sphere rolls around the corner and falls over.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

read down and see what it is like BEFOR MARRIAGE boy:at last.i can hardly wait! girl:do you want to leave me? boy:NO! dont even think about it! girl:do you love me? boy:ofcourse! always girl:have you ever cheated on me? boy:NO! why are you even asking? girl:will you kiss me ? boy:every chance i get! girl:will you hit me ? boy:hell no! are you crazy ? girl:can i trust you? boy:yes! girl:darling!! read up again and see what it is like AFTER MARRIAGE (L.W)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did lil yazzy watch The Hills at 12:40 in the morning? Because she was casually surfing netflix and clicked on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Johnny has 30 pints of ice cream. He eats 25 pints. What does Johnny have? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One day a horse goes to a bakery store and asks the shopkeeper for a fresh loaf of bread. Surprised at the request the shopkeeper asked - White bread or whole wheat? To which the horse replied - Makes no difference cause i rode my bicycle to work yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Q: why did the girl fall off the swing?? A: because she had no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -205

when i walk in the living room this is what i see... Luci's big eyes are stairing at me! (Luci is a dog) (Pita is a cat) I start a hissing and a scratchin and i ain't affrid to bite her, bite her, bite her, I"M PITA AND I KNOW IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Invisible Television.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what did the duck say to the chicken .nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops